please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
