elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
