I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
