you're like a bully in the Christmas story
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
