i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
