remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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