Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
