it hurts more in the daytime
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
