My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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