I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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