i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
