Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want to be your penis for a week.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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