Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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