Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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