I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
