girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
