real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
