wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
