How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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