It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
