So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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