He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
