Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
