he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There r osticjed everywhere
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
