And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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