God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
