I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
