I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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