I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
