Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize