how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
