She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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