Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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