I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
