I'm going to jail i love you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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