i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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