Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
