Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize