they need to just BURY HIM!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
