The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
