fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
