he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want to fling myself into the sun
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
