just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
did you just send me my own nude
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
