I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
