Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize