turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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