I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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