why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
