Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
