I bet he comes in French.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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