Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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