mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
